gravity always wins.

to even begin to write about this is a bit outlandish for me. i never put any special concern for beauty, and fashion, and all those girly stuff. it actually hit me a few weeks earlier, when i met my friend, Kiti Yunita Uga, MD. we talked about how we'll no longer be members of the 20-something club (amin). among our chatter about love, life, and dreams, suddenly the beauty issue was blurted out. we treaded upon the dark, secretive, foreign land (at least for me!) called "anti-aging." good Lord, i hate the words it consisted of already! why defy something that is bound to happen? even uttering the words make me think about the lack of self-esteem, and the hopeless effort to fight nature.

i said to kiti, "do we need it? anti-aging products and stuff?" i obviously expected a supportive "na'ah! it's BS produced by consumerism and big beauty products manufacturers!"

instead, kiti answered me rather eagerly, "of course we do!" and then she explained why women our age (*gulps*) need to maintain the youth of our skin, etc. i was a bit disappointed. why? because i no longer have the ground for my laziness to even wash my face before i go to sleep. i have to be responsible to take care of my skin and strive for its well-maintained youth. not to mention, those products tend to be expensive. so more and more "disadvantages" for me.

but the promise for a healthy, youthful skin? isn't that enough reason to start caring for my skin?
so i relented. i tried to be diligent about putting on skincare products. somehow i managed to have my own skincare "routine." i haven't yet purchased any anti-aging products because, being a 'careful' consumer that i am (except when it comes to books, i guess), i still think i need to do more "research" that's suitable for me. skintype-wise, and price-wise.

so far, this is what i apply on my face.

morning:

• kiehl's rare earth deep pore cleanser
• kiehl's rare earth pore refining toner
• kiehl's rare earth pore minimizing moisturizer
• the body shop vitamin c skin boost
• kate bb gel with SPF 30 PA++

(segini aja rasanya udah ruempong banget)

night:

• makeup cleanser
• hada labo shirojyun facewash or that one with aha/bha
• hada labo shirojyun toner
• hada labo shirojyun whitening essence

few times a week:

• kiehl's epidermal re-texturizing micro-dermabrasion

nothing so special, huh? i don't have some kind of special regiment in my skincare routine, for anti-aging, especially.
that's why the result is not so special either.
i still have acnes. and my skintone is still not even. i still have black spots.
i read this blogpost here and i think my face's problem is like her "before" condition. even worse :(
my problems are now adding up. first it's the acne, and then the black spots, and now, anti-aging concern. guess this is what i have to pay for procrastinating.

after some time browsing, er i mean researching, i think i need

• to visit a beauty treatment center. i opt for Miracle Aesthetics, but still haven't made the visit. i read blogs reviewing the treatment. i'm particularly interested in acne & post-acne facial and chemical/whitening peeling.
• of course, anti-aging product with retinol-A. still can't decide which brand i'd choose for this. i've tried Estee Lauder's ANR but it failed me. on my watchlist are Shiseido, SK-II, and L'ancome. although i prefer asian brand for some reasons, but i still keep my options open.
• paula's choice products. my eyes are on their super antioxidant concentrate serum. and also her BHA concentrate products.

well, i think for now i can only 
- keep doing what i do. at least none of those products i'm using causing breakouts or anything.
- ask for samples for those pricey anti-aging products??
- hope for any suggestion from those with more experience ;) kasih saran doong!