thursday playlist: travelling north

so I'm starting out this new "series" for my blog, which is a playlist series. 
this is where I document a chain of songs that captures the way I'm feeling throughout the week. 

and for a start, I made this one called "travelling north." 
what the heck is it intended for?

masih berhubungan dengan blogpost gue di minggu ini, yang berjudul "on loving." di situ gue ngebahas soal konsep mencintai diri sendiri - more or less. I wrote something like, 
"..kalo memang passion gue itu hal yang membuat gue bahagia/fulfilled/feel whole, maka gue harus terus mengejarnya, mencari-cari alasan untuk 'bertemu' dengannya, dan mencurahkan energi untuk bisa 'bersama'nya. 
just like when you're in love."

and this is what the playlist all about. 
tentang jatuh cinta, pada sesuatu yang MUNGKIN nggak akan pernah bisa lo rasakan untuk miliki. tentang gimana perasaan yang kuat itu terus menarik lo, sehingga mau nggak mau lo mengambil risiko juga untuk "berjudi." 
even though you might end up broken and beaten down, but you just have to take the chance anyways. because you just can't fight the feeling. that longing to something that pulls your heart the hardest. that one thing that never fails to excite you. that passion. 

a wise man once said passion adalah sesuatu yang we enjoy the most, sekaligus sesuatu yang sifatnya "must" buat kita. 

"Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It's that which calls to us most deeply. It's our convictions, our passions, our deepest held urges and desires - unavoidable, undeniable, and inexplicable.To choose Must is to say yes to hard work and constant effort, to say yes to a journey without a road map or guarantees, and in so doing, to say yes to what Joseph Campbell called 'the experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance within our innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.'Choosing Must is the greatest thing we can do with our lives."
(from the book "The Crossroads of Should and Must")

the words "travelling north" are uttered in Vashti Bunyan's "Train Song."
bagi gue, lirik lagu itu berbicara tentang mencari sesuatu yang udah lama hilang. elo tau apa yang lo cari, tapi nggak tau harus ke mana supaya ketemu. so you travel north to find it... lo nggak tau apa yang akan terjadi ketika lo akhirnya bisa bertemu sama dia/hal tsb ("don't even know what I'll find when I get to you"), but you know for sure that you will finally be where you truly belong. *sigh*

but as we all know, the journey to attain something we desire is often not a smooth one. you will feel endless doubts. you'll question yourself so many times you'd lose your mind. 
you'll get lost. you'll be afraid to even possess the faintest sight of hope. 
so you'll try to relent that desire. you'll even try to turn back and change your course... you'll try to say goodbye. you'll struggle to stop wanting, but fail. until one day you just don't care "if the feeling goes both ways," and start the search all over again. 

and so it's all rendered in these following songs:
1. Oh Nadine (You were in My Dreams) - Willow Smith
2. The Circle Married the Line - Feist
3. Your Type - Carly Rae Jepsen
4. Kiss It Better - Rihanna
5. Lost in You - Ash
6. Goodbye to Love - The Carpenters
7. Feels Like We Only Go Backwards - Tame Impala
8. Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkey
9. Train Song - Ben Gibbard & Feist