how to come late to work and make noone notice:

1. pack lightly. i know, as women, we tend to bring heaps of stuff we think we would need. but you need to appear as if you just got out of the toilet, not as if you just climbed off the bus-which you just did! this is what i always do: i put my cellphones in my pockets, put super-duper-important stuff in a small pouch (contents: id cards, atm card, cash money, lipstick, face powder, mylanta, pens, usb), and carry my breakfast and/or in a plastic bag. if i met my boss as i waited for the elevator, i could just say "abis beli bubur nih di belakang." she could never tell.

2. wear sandals instead of your working shoes. sandals strongly support our acting as if we just got out of the toilet. and they also make less noise. that cetak-cetok of your heels naturally will draw even the slightest attention of your cubical mates.

3. act casual. and believe in your act.
basically all you need to do is believe and chant (in your mind) what the old adage says: "never underestimate the power of denial." you-did-not-come-late-to-work. you just got back from the toilet!

4. should you get busted, shrug and say "yeah, the traffic's hell. as always." or "my kid made me stay up ALL NIGHT." or "my husband and i had a busy night" and make those nosy co-workers of yours die in envy.

5. believe in me, or don't. because, hey, i'm no expert. i'm just a tedious practitioner ;)