udah begitu, alam semesta seolah terlampau mendukung dengan menyodorkan tontonan, lagu atau kata-kata yang bikin airmata makin gampang jatuh....
saking udah lamanya nggak berbincang sama diri sendiri dan audiens yang dibayangkan ada lewat blog, gue cuma bisa memecah kebisuan dengan kutipan kata-kata. yah begitulah.
1. beberapa hari lalu, gue iseng nonton louie sambil menyantap brunch. selalu suka serial ini, selalu terbahak dengar dan lihat lelucon louis ck. tak disangka, kali itu gue juga dibikin nangis. pada episod yang gue tonton, bintang tamunya joan rivers.
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| pic from here |
ceritanya, louie berpapasan dengan rivers saat dia (louie) baru mengundurkan diri dari pekerjaannya ngisi lawakan di casino punya donald trump. pas rivers denger louie minta berhenti, reaksinya:
Rivers: What do you mean you quit? Nobody quits.
CK: I quit.
Rivers: Are you crazy? Are you a trust-fund baby that you quit?
CK: No, it’s just that they got upset cause I was saying stuff about the casino and I was making fun of Trump.
Rivers: You’re in a Trump hotel! You don’t make fun of the owner of the hotel. Are you crazy? He’s not gonna hire a comedian that’s gonna say fuck Donald Trump.
CK: I know, but I just, I…
Rivers: You know, this is not an easy business. I mean, you wanna try my life sometimes? I work in Arizona–how about that? And Indian casinos. You think that’s easy? You tell a joke, they don’t like it, instead of a tomato they throw a tomahawk. What do you expect? I mean you got a job, how lucky are you for goodness sakes?
You know what’s wrong with you guys? You don’t know when you’re lucky. Appreciate where you are for God’s sakes. It goes up, it goes down! ...Know when you’re lucky!
CK: Yeah, I know. I mean I know all that. It’s just that sometimes I get sick of the bullshit.
Rivers: Sick of the bullshit? What is your problem? Ugh. I am a million years old. Do you know what I’ve been through? I’ve been in this business for a million and two years and I’m a WOMAN! I’m a WOMAN! It’s not easy…I have done it all. Done it all. And the only thing I’ve learned, the ONLY thing I’ve learned is you don’t quit. You don’t quit.
Rivers: Listen. I wish I could tell it gets better. but it doesn’t get better. You get better. You think it’s been easy? I’ve gone up, I’ve gone down. I’ve been bankrupt. I’ve been broke. But you do it. And you do it because…because we love it more than anything else. That’s why you’re doing it.
me: *sobs uncontrollably*
2. lagu entah siapa yang didengar pagi-pagi sepulang mengantar anak ke sekolah, ada kata-kata begini, "even when I lose I'm winning, 'cause I give you all of me."
teringat relasi dengan anak -> love is a losing game.
3. lagi-lagi, di pagi hari pas anak lagi sekolah, pencet-pencet remote tv terus nyangkut di film "jane austen book club." salah satu film favorit sepanjang masaaaa iniii. saking terlalu lama gak menonton ulang, gue jadi seperti baru menonton pertama kali.
tetap nangis pas adegan prudie bimbang lalu dapet premonition "what would jane do?" / "don't walk."
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| pic from here |
tetap senyum-senyum dan malu-malu sendiri liat grigg susah-payah menunjukkan cinta ke jocelyn.
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| pic from here. btw this is the ultimate dream-date for me, ever! at the library, looking at and talking about books. x)) |
tapi yang 'baru' adalah tersentak ketika seolah baru mendengar kata-kata prudie yang ini,
"...because our mothers are like time bombs. They just... They tick away inside of us."
HOW VERY TRUE.
4. pada suatu malam yang terlalu larut, gue melongo sendirian belum bisa tidur dan tiba-tiba teringat film "fight club." i'm not at my most random here. yet. entahlah, mungkin karena lagi suka berpikir dan tergoda untuk membuat diri lebih hepi dengan material possessions dan sadar juga sih betapa banal, predictable, dan how-very-middle-class-of-me that is. lagi suka bertanya-tanya sendiri "when will enough be enough?" atau "do we really need to buy X even as an investment? what are we preparing for actually? how much of financial security do we prefer?"
dan ini bikin gue jadi inget film fight club. kenapa film itu menyindir konsumerisme abis-abisan.
dan kenapa juga film itu menyerang preferensi orang-orang untuk hidup mengejar kestabilan materi dan konformitas? emangnya salah kalo mau hidup stabil dan terjamin?? emangnya salah kalo mengejar 'kesempurnaan'? bukannya itu manusiawi?
ujung-ujungnya gue googling "what is the movie fight club really about??"
and then i found this page.
gue baca satu demi satu kutipan yang udah dikurasi oleh penulis blog tersebut. and then, damn it hit me.
- Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions.
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| pic from here |
- Do you know what a duvet is?…It’s a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then?…We are consumers. We’re the byproducts of a lifestyle obsession.Murder, crime, poverty, these things don’t concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy’s name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra…Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha’s polishing the brass on the Titanic. It’s all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns. I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let…lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.
- What do you want? Wanna go back to the shit job, fucking condo world, watching sitcoms? Fuck you, I won’t do it.
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| pic from here |
- If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity, you will become a statistic. You have been warned.
- This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.
damn.... (sekali lagi).
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| pic from here |
5. ok, just one more. dari bapak toge aprilianto: "prestasi itu tentang hasil karya. berjuang meraih tujuan dengan mengelola diri. bukan tentang hasil lomba, bersaing meraih gelar juara dengan mengalahkan orang lain."
so what is it that you're trying to tell me, universe? pasti berkaitan dengan curhatan panjang beberapa waktu lalu deh (mungkin bakal di-post sesudah ini) (sape juga yang mau tau??)
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